Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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