remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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