Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
