Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
