i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
