I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
