in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
