The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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