Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
