is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
