Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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