I need to stop coming to work sober
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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