Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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