My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
