question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
