I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
