you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
