kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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