omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
