I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize