I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
