girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
