hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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