YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
