We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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