Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
