Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
