Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
