Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
