I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You pole danced in your parka.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
