Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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