the condom got lost in my hair
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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