Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
