hotel room ftw
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
