Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
