but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
