Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
