before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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