I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
