he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
