Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
