his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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