It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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