i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dick very happy bro
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
