He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
