all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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