She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
