you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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