how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
