Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think people are normalizing furries
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
