She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
